Little Drop of Poison
by rebma726
Summary: Cobra joins Fairy Tail, the twist is that Mira now has a partner to help set up her favorite couple. What type of shenanigans will the matchmaking duo get the guild into? Loads of awkwardness and hilarity. M for adult themes and to be safe
1. The Proposal

Hello all and welcome to Little Drop of Poison! I had an idea on having Cobra somehow influence Natsu and Lucy becoming a couple for a really long time. I finally found a way to make it sort of plausible. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter One: The Proposal**

He is sitting in the furthest corner of the guild from everyone, despondently staring out into the nearly empty hall. I hurriedly fix another drink for Cana, and then glance up at him again. He comes in here day after day and sits in his dark corner until the day is over. He looks downright miserable.

It has been like this ever since he joined the guild a month-or-so ago. At the time, he stormed in here like he owned the place, confusing everyone within the guild when he yelled loudly that he wanted to join the guild. That initial day was when some of the more protective mages, myself included, threatened him and warned him that any funny business would not be tolerated.

I am still shocked that Cobra, he still insists that we call him by his code name, came to Fairy Tail, of all guilds, when he was granted freedom. To be frank, our guild is the reason that he went to prison in the first place. I have a sneaking suspicion that Kinana is his reason for coming here.

I haven't received a straight answer from my purple-haired co-worker, albeit my tries, about his intentions and his relationship with her. She always rushes out of the building when her shift is over and Cobra disappears soon after. I know that there is something there, she will eventually tell me. She will.

I finish drying a glass and walk around the side of the bar, intent on clearing all of the tables since most people have gone home for the night. I really have the intention to visit the Cobra Corner.

At the thought, his eyes snap to me, it surprises me that his eyes are filled with warning, like a cornered animal. I give him the courtesy of making a b-line for him, knowing he can read my mind.

"Save it," He seems to growl as I get within three steps of him, "I don't need your pity. And I sure as hell don't want your lectures."

I laugh, "Who said I was going to lecture you?"

He hisses, making me stop in my tracks. I know better than to provoke a person with his look of being cornered.

"You are smart," He sneers towards me, leaning back in the chair. "I guess you are okay. Kinana idolizes you, though she never says it."

A not-so-subtle reminder that he can read minds. I take a step forward and take the chair that is across from him. He doesn't react.

"You know, you are never going to get on a team if you just sit here in the corner and glare at people," I muse at him, trying to tell him that my intentions are friendly.

He glares at me without saying a word.

"That's not the only thing that I do," He cocks his head to the side, "And here I thought you were smart."

Before I can think on his statement, he continues, "I am listening to everyone. Not a single one of them would be able to handle the missions I would take on."

"Not even Natsu?"

"That brainless twit? Ha! I was impressed that he was able to stop thinking, but now I see that is normal for him," He laughed loudly, catching the attention of Gajeel, who was glaring at the empty guild from another corner. The iron slayer laughs his unique laugh, but otherwise disregards our conversation.

I tilt my head and ponder for a second, "What about be on a team with me?"

He drops his arms in shock, his good eye widening slightly. I took him off guard, that's surprising, since he can hear my thoughts.

"Don't get full of yourself, I was listening to another thought," Cobra's lip twitches after reading my mind.

I stand slowly, with a smile on my face, "Well, if you ever want to go on a mission instead of being a corner-dweller, just talk to me. Even if you want to talk to someone verbally, I will normally be at the bar with Kinana."

I walk back to the bar, picking up empty plates and mugs on my way back.

I get to the guild early the next morning, so I can start opening before some of the mages leave for an early mission. I think three teams are going on missions soon, so I should have meals prepared for them.

I unlock the front door to the guild and walk in.

Not three minutes after I turn all of the lights on, Natsu, Lucy and Happy come in.

Natsu is dragging his feet, obviously not enjoying being awake this early. Happy is in the same shape as his foster-father, hanging low in the air and rubbing his eyes. Like always, Lucy has a wide, alert grin on her face.

I wonder if she enjoys taking these early missions so that she can torture her teammates.

"Not in the way that you think," I hear from beside me. I jump and nearly drop the plate that I was preparing for Happy.

I see him standing there with a smug smirk, impressed at my reaction.

"Cobra, I didn't see you come in," I regain the grip on the plate and set it on the bar. I cast a reassuring look towards the other three mages, who are now alert and watching Cobra, waiting for him to do something nefarious.

"I came in the back," He leans over the bar and picks a vegetable off of the plate meant for Happy. The blue exceed zooms over. He glares at Cobra as he gushes a 'thank you' to me for fish. At a low growl from Cobra, Happy quickly retreats back to Natsu and Lucy with the plate above his head, making a few of the garnishings fall off behind him.

"Funny cat, isn't he?" Cobra mentions and looks over his shoulder at me.

I nod, unsure as why he is here this early, without Kinana being scheduled to work.

"You said that if I ever wanted to do a mission, I should come to you," He picks at something under his fingernails.

"I did say that," I affirm his statement. "Would you like to go on one today?"

"It's not a mission that we need to leave the guild much for," He looks back up to me, a sinister smile on his face.

I furrow my eyebrows, "I'm not sure that I follow."

He glances at Natsu, Lucy and Happy. He darts his focus between the two humans, "I hear how much you like that."

He knows about my schemes to get Natsu and Lucy together?

He nods with a smirk, he sighs and stands up, looking me in the eye, "Before you get any funny ideas, I am doing this because I owe him. And Sugartits has a very loud, repetitive thought process. It'll make the guild quieter for me."

Did he just call Lucy Sugartits?

Cobra laughs. "Out of all that, that's what you think of first?"

I smile deviously, finally understanding that this isn't a joke. He seriously wants to help get the two together.

I have a partner in matchmaking crime.

"How should we start?"

* * *

**EDITS:** 10/21/2015: Changed grammar, some wording, nothing too big.

* * *

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! I love to hear from you! I don't care if I already have this story finished, review this chapter! I do go back and edit them if you have questions or comments!


	2. Attempt One

I really didn't think that I would have that much a response to the first chapter. I am so happy that I had so many people review, follow and favorite this! I will try to post longer chapters as well!

Well, here you are, enjoy!

* * *

**Attempt one:**

_This plan is genius. _I muse as I clear off the counter before the dinner rush.

Kinana was pressured by both Cobra and I to help in this masterful scheme today. The aforementioned purple haired woman scowls at the cup she is aggressively scrubbing. She wasn't the fondest of my masterful matchmaking plans, and now Cobra is helping me.

My co-worker is the perfect person for the job. She is quiet, nice, and sticks to her own business most of the time. And she is also the only one that Cobra and I can't keep our plans from. She walked in on us in the kitchen, since she works here, and overheard part of our plan. One thing led to another, and now we have the perfect plan to spark something between Natsu and Lucy.

Natsu, Lucy and Happy enter the room together. Natsu, though his jacket is tattered, walks in with his hands behind his head. He comes and sits at the bar with Happy next to him.

Lucy saunters into the room, appearing to be slightly singed. The same as every other time she goes on a mission with Natsu and Happy. Lucy glares at Natsu's back and sits at a booth in the middle of the guild.

I nudge Kinana, motioning for her to start. She almost growls as she grabs the plate and milkshake meant for Lucy and walks over to her.

I hand a plate of fish to Happy and place a variety of dishes around where Natsu is sitting.

Natsu gets a slightly predatory look on his face before he grabs a baked potato with his bare hands.

"Say, where is snake-breath?" Natsu asks me after he swallows. After quite a few incidents of broccoli or various meats on my face I have 'trained' Natsu not to talk with his mouth full at the bar.

I stifle a laugh at the name before I respond, "Who are you talking about?"

"That dark guy that is making the place smell like snakes. Charles? Cody? Edward? No, it wouldn't be Edward."

Meanwhile, Kinana makes small-talk with Lucy. Luckily Lucy picked a booth close enough for me to be able to hear her. If I could hear the conversation, Natsu would definitely be able to listen in as well. Natsu is staring to his plate, muttering names, trying to remember Eric or Cobra.

"How was your mission today?" Kinana looks down to her hands, blushing a lot for the light conversation they were having.

Lucy, unaware of Kinana's hesitation, "Natsu nearly burned down the wagon, the entire forest actually." She popped a strawberry in her mouth with her usual irritated twitch associated with lack of rent.

"He used his magic in a wagon?" This perked Kinanas attention. "I thought that he was too motion sick to use magic."

"Oh no, he wasn't _in_ the wagon. We were walking alongside it. Then there was this little punk kid that jumped on top of it. Then, you know Natsu, he was his idiot self and roared at the wagon. I told him to read the flyer. If he did that, he would have known that we were escorting a wagon of grade 5 fireworks. And I would have my rent," Lucy slumps onto the table, pushing her plate to the side.

Kinana looks up to me, I am frantically pointing at Lucy and mouthing 'do-it!' while Natsu is now looking to the sky and muttering names that start with a 'C'.

Kinana sighs, "Say, Lucy."

Lucy surfaces from her rent-money trance. Though, she doesn't look at Kinana, "Yeah?"

Kinana blushes at her hands

"Have you ever. . ."

"Have I ever what?" Lucy looks over to her and sees Kinanas demeanor, "Are you feeling okay? You look flushed. Is Mira working you too hard?"

Kinana startles back slightly, "No, no, nothing like that. I want to know if you have ever thought that. . ." She mumbled the last part of her sentence.

Natsu stopped his name-quest and became silent. I wonder if he heard through the mumbling.

"Have you ever thought that Natsu is. . ." I could see the resentment in her expression. She really doesn't want to ask her. Too bad I have Cobra on my side now, he gave the last nudge of encouragement that I needed to enlist Kinana.

I can almost see the focus in Natsu's eyes, wanting to hear clearly. Happy chews on his fish, unaware of the sudden tension in Natsu.

"Natsu is what?" Lucy furrows her eyebrows.

"Jeeze," Kinana seems to give up being shy. The only way this awkward situation was ever going to end for her was for her to blurt it all out. "Have you ever thought Natsu is," She looks up and looks Lucy right in the eye and uses the word she was told to use. The same word that Cobra reports that he hears almost every time Lucy thinks about Natsu. "Tantalizing?"

"Ta-tan-tantalizing?" Lucy flushed at the word and is now sitting straight and ridged. That is the reaction that I want from her! Natsu definitely noticed something, he turned his ear closer to Lucy.

Kinana sighs and wipes her forehead that went unnoticed by Lucy in her horror. She continues before Lucy could burst out, "Like how close he is to you all of the time, how fit he is." The longer the explanation went on, the more color rushed out of Kinanas face. "Particularly those arms. So close, yet just out of reach."

With each one of the points Kinana covered, Lucy's face contorted into sheer panic, "Wh-why do you a-ask?" Lucy inches towards the end of the booth. I see what you are doing, Lucy. I see that you are trying to escape.

Kinana looks equally panicked by now, not wanting Lucy to go without finishing the plan, "Well, have you or not?"

Lucy glances over to the bar where Natsu is still sitting with his back to her. She frantically looks around to all of the other people that she thinks would possibly be listening in.

She sighs with pouted cheeks, "You have no idea, yes. But keep it quiet!" She mutters quietly and stands up. She didn't even finish her drink before she left. I'll have to remember to let her finish drinking before I enact a plan.

I glance at Natsu, the concentrated expression still on his face. He looks up to meet my gaze. He tilts his head to the side, "Mira?"

"Yeah?" I ask. What could he possibly ask me right now? What to do about this new information?

"What does 'tan tall eye sing' mean? And what does it have to do with arms?" He asks while picking up a roasted leg. I blink.

I hear an explosion of laughter come from the Cobra Corner. Cobra must have snuck in recently. I glare over to the corner, which made the laughter get louder.

This plan was less productive than I thought.

Back to the drawing board.

* * *

**EDITS: **10/21/2015: Changed wording, grammar, nothing big

* * *

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. Reviews are like crack to me. If you suggest anything (wording, concepts, attempts) I will see what I can do!


	3. Attempt Two

I am doing a lot of traveling and working this summer, so (as you may have noticed) I am not updating this very quickly. I also have a few other projects that I am working on and planning and preparing for my wedding, so please be patient with me. I don't abandon stories and this story is no different.

Well, here is the extraordinarily diabolical second attempt to get our favorite couple together!

* * *

**Attempt Two:**

_This plan is genius. _I chuckle as I put the official maintenance sign on the door. Thanks to this highly intricate plan, there will be little room for error with this masterwork.

Also, thanks to Natsu's limited vocabulary, our first attempt was a wasted effort. Gray started a fight with Natsu soon after Lucy left the guild, yelling about his idiocy over what "tantalizing" means.

Though it was an utter failure on the grounds of getting Natsu and Lucy together, it proved that Lucy does have feelings for Natsu to the rest of the guild. Now, the entire guild was getting more invested in setting the two mages up. Much to Kinana's displeasure, the added interest only fueled Cobra and I to brainstorm more. Cobra said that the guild was unbearably loud, like everyone was screaming into his head at the same time.

_Ah-hah! Here she comes now! Time to put the plan in action._ I watch as she reads the sign on the door and furrow her eyebrows and walks over to me.

"What is wrong with the women's locker room?" Lucy demanded. The blonde was dripping wet from a _surprise_ swim in the pool due to the hands of Levy (the bookworm was easy to coax into the plan with the revelation that Gajeel does _think_ that the orange dress she wears is _cute_). The tiny bookworm slipped on some _convenient_ water and _accidentally _pushed Lucy into the pool.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lucy. The pipes broke last night and made quite the mess in there. Everything is out of order till tomorrow," I said with a fake regretful tone. "What happened to you, why are you are all wet?"

I need to keep my image of being an oblivious barmaid, not a conniving matchmaker.

"I fell into the pool when I was with Levy," She's sweet. If the perpetrator was anyone other than our little Levy, Lucy would be chasing them around in her infamous wrathful state.

"Hmm, you can always go back to your apartment to take a shower," I suggest.

She won't do that, I know she won't.

"Have you seen the weather?! I am not going outside, dripping wet and reeking of chlorine, in this snowstorm!" she was still very angry, cold, and oh-so soaking wet. In fact, the storm was just a convenient addition to the plan. Gray helped out with freezing the pipes (with a bribe of a weeks' worth of free drinks). I also made sure to add three times the normal amount of chlorine to the pool, to not leave anything to chance.

I hum, pretending that I am thinking. I already know what I am going to suggest, "Oh! You know what? The men's locker room is working just fine. You can go in there!"

"I-in the me-men's locker room?" Lucy looked like she saw a ghost.

I giggle, "You'll find that it is cleaner than the women's room. Not surprisingly, it isn't used as much. The guys here barely bathe in the first place."

Off in the distance, I heard a short snort from Cobra.

"But, I heard that they were community showers, so they don't have curtains or anything," Lucy mutters quietly. She must have heard that from Cana, who frequents the men's locker room in her inebriated states.

"Oh, it is off in the back, not many people go back that far. I am sure that you will be fine," Lies, every word. She doesn't need to know that.

Lucy still looks like she needs convincing, "How about this, you use the shower and I will put a sign on the door saying that the pipes are broken in there too?"

She slumps her shoulders and sighs, "Alright, but if there are any guys in there, I will never forgive you, Mira."

"Oh don't worry, don't worry," I wave a hand at her, "Nobody will disturb you!"

She mutters darkly under her breath and goes to the men's locker room door. She looks back at me for confirmation and I motion my hands for her to go on in.

She hesitates for another second before quickly swinging the door open and sliding inside.

I smile and wait till I hear the water start running before I walk back to the main hall.

Before I am back in the main room, Cobra was getting ready to carry out his part of the plan. Kinana was at his heels, looking exasperated by what we were doing this time. She was only supposed to be a precaution if things didn't turn out the way we wanted them to, but I think that she be a nice reminder for him to follow the plan.

Cobra grabbed a trashcan that I conveniently forgot to take out last night and dragged it behind him noisily. I can see the gases of the trash trailing behind him. I don't have dragon sense of smell, so I can't imagine what that smells like to them.

As Cobra and Kinana walked past tables, the people they pass abruptly stopped their conversations to watch what the reclusive poison dragon slayer was up to with the trash can.

Cobra stopped right behind Natsu as he was chatting with Erza. Erza looked up to Cobra and nodded once.

It is a little cruel, I'll admit, but Natsu is really daft and has incredibly thick skin. The only way that he would forgo taking a shower here is if he almost gets sick here beforehand. This is the only thing that would ensure our plan would work. This is for his own good.

Cobra smirks. He lifts the trashcan over his head and empties it on Natsu's head.

Silence.

It takes a minute for Natsu register what just happened and why there was a fish head where his sandwich was supposed to be. He bolts upright and gets in Cobra's face, hollering the whole way.

"You need to bathe, I thought I would give you extra incentive," Cobra smirked, tilted his head up so Natsu only saw his chin.

Before Natsu could react violently like expected, Erza jumped between the two. She had already exquipped into her Heaven's Wheel armor and had all ten of her swords pointing menacingly towards the poison user.

Instantly, Erza's face turned green and she started shaking. She turned towards Natsu, "Na-Natsu, g-go show-er. I'll take care-care of him."

I am not sure if her stuttering was because of the stench or if it was because she is such a horrible actress (I convinced Erza that she would be a bridesmaid if she were to help in getting Natsu and Lucy together. That was simple enough to do, at the possibility of her two teammates getting married; she turned into a blubbering, red-faced, knight of agreement).

"But, I want a piece of him!" Natsu tried to step around Erza as he lit his arm on fire. He instantly put it out when the smell of burning trash got to his nose. He turned green and pushed past everyone to get to the locker room, not checking to see if Erza was really going to beat up Cobra for him. He left a trail of trash behind him as he dashes away from Cobra.

As he passed me, I hold back the urge to vomit. That really smells horrible. I wave the air around my face to try to dissipate the smell.

Erza instantly exquips to her normal attire and glares at Cobra, "You had too much fun doing that."

Her statement made Cobra laugh, "Who said I couldn't have fun?"

I walk over to them, in case a fight actually did break out.

"I don't get it, he sees her in the shower all of the time. What makes it so special now?" Gray walks up with a giant tankard of (free) beer.

I chirp, "Seeing her like that without him intending to will make him realize he has feelings for her."

Gray scoffs, "Yeah, _feelings_."

I smack him for his insinuation, but he is completely right. Cobra shakes his head and walks to the back hallway, where he can observe the situation to make sure that our plan worked.

I sigh deeply and grab a broom and plastic glove. I should at least start cleaning up this mess. Otherwise nobody will want to eat anything all day.

About half an hour later, I could assume that Natsu didn't make himself known to Lucy since there wasn't any loud screaming or Natsu being chased out like some sort of unwanted rodent. I smile at the thought. Hopefully he will realize what everybody else knows about him and Lucy.

I hang out near the hallway that leads to the locker rooms when I see the door swing open. Lucy walks out with dry hair and a new warm outfit courtesy of one of her spirits, I'm sure.

"Hey Mira," Lucy comes up to me while combing through her hair with her fingers. "I think there might be some old trash stashed in one of the lockers or something. It smelled really bad when I got out. I wouldn't put it past some of the guys to stash food in there."

I smile, "I'll look into it."

I wave at her as she passes the bar and walks out the door. She tucked her hair into a warm hat as she opened the door. I could see her take a deep breath before she tried to make it to her apartment without freezing.

Good, she didn't notice that Natsu was in the locker room with her. Now all I need to do is check in with Cobra...

"Don't bother. That pink haired bastard saw everything and has a dirty mind. I wouldn't expect to see him soon, he will be in the shower for a while," Cobra angrily passes me. He shakes his head like he was trying to get something out of his head. He leans over the window to call into the kitchen, "Come on Kinana, let's get out of here."

"But it is the middle of the day," Kinana said, popping her head over some low cabinets in the back. "There is a bunch of stuff I need to do, like clean up the trash that Natsu trailed back to the locker rooms."

"I am sure that both you and I earned a day out of the guild," Cobra seemed very impatient. He cast a sidelong look at me, daring me to challenge him.

I blink, putting two and two together. He essentially heard everything Natsu was thinking about Lucy as she was in the shower. Blood rushes to my face, "Go ahead, Kinana. I can take care of everything here."

Cobra smirks with an almost sarcastic sneer, "Thanks for understanding." He dashed into the kitchen and makes an escape from the building through the back, nearly dragging Kinana with him.

* * *

**EDITS: **10/22/15: Changed wording, added chlorine to the pool, added new clothes, changed phrasing. Nothing to drastic

* * *

Please review! It doesn't have to be much, just a "good job" will suffice!

Till next time,

Amber


	4. Attempt Three

Hello all!

I just wanted to point out that the name of this story is because I listen to weird music and I have a song called _Little Drop of Poison_ by Tom Waits. It is a tango song, so it is a little slow, but it brings a smile to my face each time I listen to it (it also showed up in one of the Shrek movies, I think). Check it out on youtube if you want, but it doesn't really have the same theme or feeling as this story, it just provided me the perfect title.

* * *

**Attempt Three:**

_This plan is genius!_ I fiddle around with the request board. I nod once at Nab and walk back over to the bar. The resident of Cobra Corner is in and I can feel his eyes following me. He has made it obvious that he does not want to listen to whatever Natsu is thinking, not since our last plan.

The shower plan went over quite well, Lucy is still unaware that Natsu watched her in the communal showers. When Natsu came out of the showers, he wasn't the least bit interested in Cobra and knowing the (fake) outcome of the fight between Erza and Cobra. Cobra reported that Natsu completely forgot about it and is now thinking of Lucy even more than before, and wants to have Lucy as more than just a partner for jobs. At least that what he has interpreted from the simplistic and instinctual thoughts Natsu had flash into his mind.

Cobra also called Natsu an idiot multiple times as he was telling me this.

On the other note, Lucy still is none-the-wiser that Natsu was the source bad odor in the showers, and she was fantasizing about a wedding last time Cobra tuned into her thoughts. Cobra got really uninterested, but said that she already has her bridesmaids picked out, if Natsu ever became interested in marriage.

After I pressed him for more information about the topic, he nearly screeched all of the answers at me. In the screeching he said something about the bookworm (good chance that is Levy), the other she-demon (probably Erza), and the water woman (Juvia). I hope that I can be a bridesmaid too! I wonder what the colors will be and if Lucy needs help finding or making a dress? I am pretty good with a sewing machine and I plan most all of the guild events.

Cobra coughs loudly, dragging me back to reality. I throw a short glare at him and continue my routine at the bar. I soon see the reason why he cut my daydream short.

Lucy walks briskly into the guild and makes a b-line to sit in her usual spot. Natsu was walking slightly-further-than-normal length behind Lucy (to look at her from behind?). He obviously wants to go on a mission today and was shooting question after question about what kind of mission they should go on, how long it should be, how much money she spent before she put it toward her rent.

Before Lucy could get too irritated with the barrage of questions, I walk up to them. "Hey, just the team I wanted to see!"

They both look at me owlishly, I continue, "Where's Happy?" I knew already, I promised to teach Wendy the basics of transformation magic if she took Happy along this morning.

Natsu pouts, "Out with Carla and Wendy. And Lucy doesn't want to do any missions today."

Lucy sighs dramatically, "I said I wanted to write for a little while before coming to the guild. Now that we are here, we can do a local one."

"Local one? Those ones always suck and I don't get to fight anyone!" Natsu threw his hands up in the air while giving a few puffs of fire from his fists.

"Master just put a request on the board, I am sure that whatever it is, you two can handle it," I suggest to them. Before I was finished, Natsu was already at the request board, looking to see what one the master put on there. He found it quickly and ran back over, flailing it in his hands.

"I wonder how the old man got this on the top of the board," Curses, I forgot about Master Makarov's height.

"He has giant magic," Sweet logical Lucy, she saved my slight overlook of details!

Natsu shrugs, "It is bound to be more interesting than fixing an old water heater, like last time."

"Well, what does it say?" Lucy asks, crossing her arms.

Natsu tilted his head in confusion, "He wants us to get an animal out of the attic."

"An animal is in the attic?" Lucy echoed. "How could it possibly get in there?"

Lucy is far too intelligent. I should have seen this coming. Quick, think of something.

Levy sits down at the bar, "Cana sometimes collects animals when she is drunk, then hides them up there, declaring them the new mascot of the guild. You can't tell me that you forgot about the boar that was up there for a week eating all of the archived records."

Levy, you sweet, sweet, short girl. I love you.

I nod and add, "And all of the potatoes."

"Okay, well, yeah, Natsu and I can check it out," Lucy got up and tore the paper from Natsu's hands. She hands it to me and wanders up to the second floor, dragging Natsu, to where the entrance to the attic is.

"How is this helpful?" Levy asks, leaning over the bar.

I smile at her, "It will give them something simple to do, alone, together, in the dark."

"What if something goes wrong though, you know Natsu," Levy sips on her drink. "He tends to make everything simple into some sort of fight or pile of ashes."

"Nothing is going to go wro—," I was cut off by a loud banging noise, a shriek and the sound of something big falling over. There was another shriek (This one was slightly higher and I am assuming was from Lucy), and a roar.

I set down the tray of food and look up the stairs, alarmed. I blink a few times, Everyone was now looking up the stairs. That roar was not from Natsu, it was from an animal. Another shriek and something that sounded like swords dragging across wood filled the hall.

"Nab," I call sweetly. He looks over from the request board, suddenly nervous to be talking to me, "What did you say the animal that you put in the attic was?"

He gulped audibly, "I didn't." I can hear and explosion of hysterical laughter emanating from Cobra Corner.

"Care to enlighten me?" I suggest, trying to keep my cool and ignore Cobra.

He shuddered, "A wo..." he mumbled so I couldn't hear. I don't ask him to repeat, but wait for him to say it louder, "A wolverine."

((And then an agitated man in a yellow jumpsuit with wacky hair crashed through the ceiling and demanded all of the cigars))

"Nab," I inhale deeply and exhale after a few more shrieks from both Lucy and Natsu. "I thought I told you to get a bunny or a woodchuck."

"I couldn't find any," He said weakly.

I stare at him, "Go take care of it."

"But, I thought you said—," He shrinks into his chair.

"Off you go," I interrupt him, motioning my hands in a "shoo" motion.

It didn't take more than that for him to scurry up the stairs and to the hatch that leads into the attic. There was another shriek from Lucy calling the wolverine a demon.

I think that next time, we just have to be a little more specific with the job request. Maybe an actual job request that has little room for error. I'll look at all of the old logs.

"Yeah, you do that," Cobra sneered, suddenly appearing next to Levy. She startled at the sudden appearance, but soon smiled up at him in greeting. "In the meantime, I will be far enough away from Charrhead so that I can hear whatever horndog thoughts he gets struck with."

Cobra hissed and shook his head suddenly and muttered, "Even now, really?"

What could possibly be going on in Natsu's head?

"You don't want to know," Cobra slams the kitchen door open and walks in to make plans with Kinana later.

* * *

**EDITS: **10/22/15: Changed grammar, continuity and flow. Left the X-Men reference/ASN because I am a child and love that line so much.

* * *

Sorry about The Wolverine little exert. It was too perfect for me not to leave in there. Because when I write, I make what I call ASN, short for "Amber Sarcastic Notes" everywhere to force me to edit at least once and it makes me enjoy writing a lot more.

And if you didn't know, Nab has the magic for Animal Possession. Though there is a depiction in the Anime about what it is, it is not shown or explained in the manga. Therefore, I am assuming that it can be used to calm wild animals and relocate them into the attic of the guild, for instance.

Till next time,

Amber


	5. Attempt Four

Hello all!

I have a long one here for you today!

Thank you to all of you that favorited, followed and/or reviewed! I got a few requests to know what Cobra is hearing thought all of these, so I will oblige as best as I can. . . in later chapters (I have to keep you wanting something)!

Evidently, October 12 was "Fairy Tail Day." So I guess that I am participating in it with this (late a few days, but whatever, it still counts in my head).

In any case, here you are! Will Mira and Cobra _finally_ get these two together? (coughnocough)

Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday by far! Enjoy!

* * *

**Attempt Four:**

_This plan is genius_ I think as I finish my magical tweaking. With my superior magical manipulation, I have created the perfect magical device that will surely get Natsu and Lucy together!

I was too busy reveling in my genius that I didn't notice that my targets walked in the door and sat next to Levi and Gajeel on the other side of the guild. I also didn't notice that my poisonous partner walking towards the bar.

Cobra walks up and hops in the spot Lucy normally sits in. It takes me a moment before I notice and panic, "NO! Don't sit there!"

It was too late, Cobra set off a series of whirring magical gears and pullies. Cobra is in awe watching the complicated magic show going on right above his head to figure out that he should move. At least he thinks that in the guild is a safe place now and he shouldn't be on his guard all of the time.

Too bad that my magical invention spawned a giant, magical plush hand that swings around and hits Cobra in the side. If that were Lucy, it would knock her right into Natsu, who sits next to her. But since it hit Cobra, it sent him flying down the row of stools, taking him and at least four of the other stools to the ground.

The guild went silent for a split second before erupting into laughter. Thankfully Lucy didn't see that it was her spot that this contraption was anchored at.

"What the hell is this?" Cobra pushes the magical plush hand off of him. I need to adjust that, the plush hand is supposed to disappear not stick to the target. Cobra punches the giant hand to try to get it off, but it just sticks to his fist and prevents him from moving.

I sigh, "I told you not to sit there! You ruined it." I cross my arms and pout.

"Get it off of me!" He snarls at me. The plush hand appeared to be swallowing him.

I glare at him and point my magic pen at him and demand that the pen erases the hand.

Cobra stands up in a huff, kicking a bunch of the stools he fell into out of his way. He sends a poisonous glare out towards the guild, which only makes them laugh harder.

He crosses his arms on the other side of the bar from me, trying to ignore the laughter. "That wasn't going to work," He hisses.

"I think that it would have," I furrow my eyes at him.

He tilts his head in a manner that questioned my logic and my sanity.

"Well, what do you suggest?" I try not to snap at Cobra, but I know that I failed.

The rest of the guild has gone back to their previous shenanigans from before Cobra got smacked across the room by my magical hand. However, something caught Cobras attention.

Cobra furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at the girl that just staggered up to us. I look in her, wondering if she wants another barrel of ale.

Cobra nodded and smirked, "That, I like."

"What?" I do not like being left out of the loop. Though I am frequently finding myself in this situation when it comes to Cobra. I cross my arms and address Cana more sternly, "What have you thought of?"

Cana grinned a drunken stupor, "Just let Mumsy handle this."

Mumsy? I have a horrible feeling about this.

"You're right, but it will get those two horn dogs out of the guild for a day," Cobra nods. I sigh and nod my head to agree to whatever Cana was thinking of. Cobra has been more _active_ at home with Kinana and it is wearing her out. Getting Natsu and Lucy out would help and letting Cobra dictate one of these plans will also help with him relaxing at the guild.

"Okay, Cana. What is it?" I ask. If she was making a plan, then I will be helping.

Cana grins at me then turns around, "I told you, Let Mumsy handle this. You can follow and watch if you want. But stay out of the way." She sings.

Before I can react, she yells out, "Lucy, Natsu, you two are coming with me on a mission." Cana grabs the back of Lucys shirt and drags her off of back of the bench. Lucy shrieks as she reached out to grab Natsu, who is a solid object, to prevent herself from falling.

What Lucy thought was going to be her salvation ended up squishing her on the ground.

Natsu jumps up, "Sweet, a mission with Cana!"

The trio were out of the guild before I could blink.

"Better follow them if you want to see what she is doing," I straighten and pull my apron off. I tie it around Cobra and dash out the door. I had to restrain myself from laughing at the image of Cobra's dumbfounded look as I tied my apron around him in an impossible knot.

I don't think that I will be getting that apron back in one piece.

I get outside the guild and quickly locate the trio walking towards the mountains to the north. I can hear Natsu complaining about transportation and I can see Cana's will break and give in to walking. Lucy wasn't happy about that.

Cana pulls Lucy to her side, forcing Natsu to walk behind the girls. It doesn't take Cobra's superhearing to know what Natsu is staring at in awe.

I tail behind them, ducking behind trees whenever they turn my way.

I follow them for over an hour, if I were back at the guild, I would start putting out the menus for lunch. Hopefully Kinana and Cobra are doing well.

In any case, I have more important business.

I just have one question about this "mission" that Cana is taking them on.

Where is she leading them? I stick my head out of the bush to see which way they went on the fork ahead. To the right.

I crawl out of the shrub and jog down the trail. I look at the sign to see where it is pointing towards.

I blink my eyes in confusion.

The old Victoria House?

Why would she bring them here?

Everyone in Magnolia knows the stories of this place. Dr. Alastair Victoria is the owner of this house. Dr. Victoria often leaves his house to travel abroad, leaving for years at a time. Recently, there have been many children that have come into the woods to play and they heard strange noises from the house. Somebody must have submitted a request to investigate.

That would make sense if I received any request for it. Cana isn't allowed to take direct requests anymore, not after she mistook a sarcastic drunken comment from her drinking buddies as a mission. We had to apologize to ever goat farmer in a 10 mile radius of Magnolia.

I scowl and walk up to the house and walk up to the front door. Whatever Cana is doing with them in there is no doubt illegal.

I hear a large crash from the back room, then another one in a side room.

"What is going on in there?"

I jog over to the side of the house that was getting most of the activity. I spot plenty of artifacts from the places that Dr. Victoria has visited along with copious amounts of cats, decorative pyramids and dusty old books.

I wipe the glass to see if I am missing anything through the foggy window.

I squint and see an unmistakable tuft of pink hair.

I get hearts in my eyes from what I see.

Natsu and Lucy are cuddled together against the far wall. They have their arms trapped around each other like their lives depended on it. They are looking deep into each other's eyes and are getting closer to each other.

Wait, those aren't loving gazes.

Those are looks of horror.

What is happening?

My answer is quickly answered when a person, or what was once a person, bursts in though the door.

It groans loudly.

Lucy shrieks.

Natsu screams.

I jump from the window.

A mummy.

A walking mummy.

"No, you two must be my lord and lady!" The remarkable feminine voice calls and shuffles towards Lucy and Natsu.

That is a woman mummy. And it is trying to convince Natsu and Lucy that they are her lord and lady?

I stand up and peek in the window again. Natsu picks Lucy up and throws her over his shoulder and doges each of the stiff lunges from the mummy. He stands in front of the window for a moment, where I catch a glimpse of magic-cancelling cuffs linking Natsu and Lucy together.

I blink and follow to the next window. I quickly wipe off the dirt and peer in. Natsu is agilely jumping over the furniture, then reaching back with his free hand and tossing it in the direction of the mummy. All of the precious decorations on the end tables in the living room shatter on the ground in front of the mummy. With ever jump, Lucy alternates between scolding him for being so destructive and screaming in horror. All the while, the mummy clambers behind them, repeatedly calling them Lord and Lady.

Natsu tosses Lucy into the kitchen to get her away from the woman mummy. He must have forgotten that he is attached to her because he gets dragged into the kitchen quickly after she is tossed.

"You idiot!" Lucy Lucy-kicks him, also forgetting that she is attached to him and the two of them end up in the living room again.

"What do you _want_?" Natsu stands up, coming face-to-face with the mummy. Lucy inches her way into the kitchen.

"I must assist my Lord in courting his lady!" the mummy exclaims as she lumbers forward, knocking over a lamp.

I step back from the window and press two fingers on the bridge of my nose.

Cana is insane.

"Hey Mira," Speak of the devil. Cana takes a few gulps of her ale while patting me on the back.

"_What_ is going on?" I motion towards the window where Lucy and Natsu are looking at the mummy in horror again, this time for a different reason

"Ally was another kid in the orphanage with me. He always asks me to look after his house while he's gone. I figured it was a perfect place to trap them and maybe scare them into falling in love," Cana explains with a fond smile. That still didn't answer my question.

"The mummy, where did that come from?" I ask with a heavy sigh. At least she has permission to be here, unlike when she abducted all the goats.

"From Egypt."

I don't respond to her and raise my eyebrows at her.

She sighs drunkenly, "Ally brought her back and when she got here, she started walking around. All she really does is clean and knock things over. Completely harmless if you know she is here."

"So what is this thing with the lord and lady?"

"Oh, I told her that Natsu was a descendant of her pharaoh and he was having problems with courting his love," Cana chuckles again and finishes her drink.

Well the second part is true. Before I can respond, a loud shattering sound resonates the clearing.

She looks at me with a serious expression, "You will help me clean up inside, right?"

I blink a few times and turn around and head right back towards the guild.

.

.

I came back to the guild to be met with a mob of angry mages, demanding food and drink and entertainment. Evidently, Cobra took Kinana into the back room where neither of them were _decent_ enough to come out to take care of the bar. Poor Levi and Raki tried to fill the spot, but they both ended up burning everything. Gajeel used his charcoal sandwich as ammunition to throw at me. I don't think I will get the stain out of my dress.

Which leads me to this confrontation.

"Cobra, I really think that you should do this," I put my hand on my hips, holding out the item to Cobra. I have him cornered at his table so he can't get away and he can't ignore me forever.

"Aint no way in hell I am doing that!" Cobra gazed at me with a poisonous glare, matching the magic he uses.

I match his glare. People around us move around uncomfortably, knowing that I was getting angry. He may be a snake, but I am a demon.

He is going to do this no matter if it is the last thing that I do. He has been acting like an animal in heat just as much as Natsu. But Natsu wasn't the one effecting the working ability of my _only_ other employee.

Cobra shakes his head with a slight smirk at my thoughts.

"I will make you work," I say sternly.

"Good luck with that," He scoffs. He is right, he would probably wreak all sorts of havoc in my delicate organization of the kitchen.

I will make Kinana take triple shifts. I don't say it aloud and I know that it is mean to Kinana, but the only way that I can make Cobra stop being so tense is to threaten his precious _relief_.

Cobras eyes go dark with hatred. He curls his lip and snarls at me.

"Don't think I won't," I offer him the item again.

He snatches if from me with an additional snarl of disproval.

"I am not calling a damn _Diary_."

* * *

I wanted to make the dynamic between Mira and Cobra to be a little clearer with this chapter, which is why the first and the last scenes are the way they are.

I watched the first two Mummy movies last weekend with my sister and I was inspired. Did you like it? Tell me! Leave me a REVIEW to tell me what you liked!

Happy Halloween!

Till next time,

Amber


	6. Attempt Five

Happy Halloween part two!

You thought that I was going to leave you with a mummy mission at the beginning (middle) of the month without a follow up?! I told you, Halloween is my _favorite_. I will drag this holiday out for as long as humanly possible (and until my fiancé hides my masks and face paint).

I know that the last chapter was more Cana getting into trouble, but I like Halloween too much to pass up inspiration. This one has more Cobra and Mira meddling (that is my favorite)!

This one was supposed to be shorter than what it is now. Tell me if you like the longer or the shorter chapters! Or if you just like me getting the particular attempt in one chapter, no matter the length.  
Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, favorited and followed LDOP! It makes me want to write even more!

* * *

**Attempt Five:**

_This plan is genius!_ I think as I skip around the guild. I place the final decoration on the banister going to the second floor. Now I need to finish with the rest of the decorations.

Everything has been arranged and everything in my plan is poised to engage. This will be perfect. If this doesn't get Natsu and Lucy together, nothing will.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Cobra says as he begrudgingly carries a large box from the basement. He angrily glares at a spider that is scuttling around on the box and had made a web before he moves to hold it away from him.

"Oh, what could go wrong?" I ask, spinning around to face him and placing my hands on my hips.

Cobra roughly puts the box on the counter and looks at me with an exasperated look. He tsks and looks away, "You're right, nothing can go wrong."

That was sarcasm.

"Yes, yes it was," Cobra walked back to the basement to get more boxes. The things that my coworker can get Cobra to do are phenomenal. It was only because she asked him to help so Kinana could get ready.

I place a few bright orange pumpkins on the corner of the bar and drape a fabric that looks like a spiderweb over them. I climb a ladder to decorate the top of the alcohol rack behind the bar.

Cobra helps by tossing random items at me. He wasn't letting it show that he was enjoying decorating.

He tsks at my thoughts before throwing a decorative statue of a black cat at me.

I wait for him to throw me something else. Something like a collar or broomstick for the cat, but it never comes.

I look back at him and he is staring at the door. The door is completely closed, but I know that he knows who is coming.

"Whose bright idea was it to handcuff those two together?" Cobra asks weakly, averting his eyes from staying in one place for too long.

I chuckle, "That was Cana's idea."

I can almost see the regret he was having about letting Cana play matchmaker the previous day.

I climb down the ladder and turn to look at the couple that Cobra and I are trying to get together. The second that Natsu and Lucy come through the door, Natsu stops to bump heads with Gray before Lucy tugs roughly at the links between her and Natsu before she makes it to the bar to talk to us.

She smiles and greets us, "Hey Mira, Mr. Cobra. It looks great in here! I am excited for the party tonight."

I see Cobra stiffen from being greeted just like any other member of the guild from the celestial mage. Lucy is one of the most accepting mages in the guild and, by golly, Cobra would feel like a member of the guild even if he didn't want to.

I pick out an obsidian goblet from a large box and start cleaning it.

"How was the job you did yesterday with Cana?" I intentionally don't mention the handcuffs.

Both Natsu and Lucy pale.

"That bad?" I giggle. I know exactly how bad it was. I watched part of it.

"You have no idea. Cana thought that it would be a good idea to handcuff Natsu and I together and throw us into a haunted house," Lucy doesn't normally curl her lip, but this was one of those rare occasions.

Natsu also added in a yell of anger towards Cana. Whenever he is like this, I only notice that he is angry, then give him food, then he is normally sated or he goes and fights Gray.

"I was wondering about that. She has the keys right?" I ask with legitimate concern. Those are magic cancelling cuffs so neither of them would be able to take jobs till it was off. I want them together romantically, but I don't want Lucy to get kicked out of her apartment or Natsu to starve.

Lucy sighs comically and Natsu looks towards some of the decorations that I have already put up in the guild.

"That is what we are here for actually," Lucy mutters and jolts her arm so that Natsu wasn't so distracted with whatever he was looking at. Looks like the last thing she wants is to be dragged off on some ridiculous Natsu-escapade. She continues while holding up her cuffed wrist, "Cana can't find which keys are for this particular set. Apparently she likes to collect the handcuff that she pickpockets from the knights. You should see her collection, it is huge."

I really am surprised to hear that, "She must have had some drunken reason for that. But really, a whole collection?" I shake my head, "Did she tell you why she handcuffed you?"

"Well, I actually didn't mind her initial reason. It was actually kind of fun being in a haunted house without magic, but it sucked being chained to Natsu during it," Natsu scowled at her, but didn't interrupt. "But that torture holds no candle to being attached to this idiot overnight," Lucy leans in and whispers as quietly as she can, "I haven't gone pee since."

My eyes widen, really?

Cobra makes a noise to verify my question.

That is _horrible._

"You know, both snakeface and I have enhanced hearing," Natsu tries to cross his arms, only to get a yank and a smack on the arm from Lucy. Cobra hisses silently from being placed in the same category as Natsu. Natsu continues, "And I really don't see why you are so scared of going to the bathroom with me there. I went and I feel much better."

Lucy turns blue. I don't know if it was from embarrassment or fury. Either way, I take a step back. I don't even want to think of what Lucy went through.

Cobra made a very quiet yelping noise and sits down on a stool on this side of the bar quickly.

Both Natsu and Lucy look at him with silent glares, uncharacteristic of Natsu, but understandable.

"But we wanted to know if you had any magic cutters to at least separate us," Lucy blinks and changes her attention back to me. "Cana said she would be able to find the key to this set by the time the party starts. I want to get ready without an audience, thank you."

An evil idea pops in my head. This would nail it in that Cobra isn't to interfere with my plans, especially by encouraging Cana. I hear him growl slightly before I respond to the blonde, "I would imagine that it would be difficult to take a shower and get ready while being attached to Natsu. Needless to say, just taking off your shirt would be tricky. You might even need his help to get undressed."

A low, long hiss came from Cobra then a long, colorful chain of curse words. If I were looking at him, I know I would see him shaking and probably glaring daggers into my soul. Instead, I am looking at the increasingly red face of Natsu and the back of Natsu's head.

"You got that right," Is hissed at me through clenched teeth from the Poison Dragon Slayer.

"You have no idea," Lucy's eyes are still wide and her cheeks bright red, not hearing Cobra or seeing his reaction. "So do you have any cutters? Please tell me that you do. I have this really cute outfit and if I can't get separated from him, I won't be able to wear it!" She comically reaches for my hand and begs with wide eyes and tears in her eyes.

"We should have some in the basement, but I am busy setting up the bar area. If only _someone_ would go and get them from the basement," I suggest calmly. I tormented him enough for now.

"I'll go get it!" Cobra sounds like he hasn't inhaled in quite a few minutes. He covers his nose and bolts from behind the bar to the basement door.

Good thing Kinana isn't at the guild yet. She takes longer to get ready than anyone else when it comes to these themed parties. If she were here, neither her nor Cobra would be seen for the rest of the day. Hopefully this was the tipping point where Cobra finally uses the journal.

Cobra comes back and cuts the two apart. Lucy squeals in victory, making both slayers flinch. She bolts out of the guild to get ready, bidding everyone goodbye as she skips out. Natsu silently glares at Cobra for a moment before he slowly follows Lucy out of the guild.

After that encounter, Cobra became less tolerant of the party and receded to his corner to fester about the feelings he is having with no way of relief.

I smile and think about how this plan can pan out.

I know that Lucy will look stunning, she always does.

Natsu, I am worried about.

Natsu always has a default costume for the Halloween Masqurade. He is always a werewolf.

Evidently, when he was growing up with Igneel, the fire dragon told him a story about humans that turned into giant, monstrous beasts on bewitching days, such as Halloween.

The last two years have been hell on that poor fuzzy costume. I even took matters into my own hands and tore it to pieces, but he still found the pieces, pressured Levi into sewing it back together (not the brightest thing) and went around like normal. Finally, Gray and him got in a fight last year and it was frozen and burned and scuffed.

I really hope that he didn't try to salvage it.

Like he knew I was thinking about him, Natsu bursts in the door as I am hanging one of the final spiders from the chandelier.

"MIRAA!" He sounds desperate. I quickly climb down the latter and looking to see where the fire is. The second my shoe touches the ground, he is shoving a smelly piece of fuzzy pink fabric in my face. There are mystery solids clinging to some of the hairs and blotchy grey and blue areas.

This is new, "What happened to it?"

"I think Happy might have washed it with something blue!" He wailed, "can you fix it?"

That is not the only thing that happened to this.

"I am afraid that it is too late, Natsu. I can't fix this before the party. You need to get another costume," I say with a fire of victory in my heart. This thing is forever going to be trash.

"But the party starts in three hours and all of the stores are closed and Levi and Lucy threatened my life when I tried to get them to fix it!"

I inhale, about to tell him that there must be someone that has a costume for him to borrow when I see Cobra smile wickedly.

He walks up to Natsu and puts a hand on his shoulder, "I got you covered." I am about to protest when he gave me a sharp look. "I have the perfect thing in mind for you."

Natsu glared at him and started to protest.

Cobra hissed at him, "Do you want to have a costume or not? I don't have to help you."

I chime in, "You know the rule, Natsu. Nobody comes in without a costume, masks are encouraged."

"I don't want you to help me," He ignores my comment so he can clash heads with Cobra. He holds up his arm, which would normally have fire coating it by now if it weren't for the magic canceling handcuffs.

"Well you are getting it anyway!" Cobra hollers and grabs his wrist and pulls him out of the guild. I really hope that I won't regret letting Cobra help him. He better have better intentions this time than last time. Last thing I need is him screwing up this plan too.

I catch a whiff of something unpleasant smelling. I look down to see that the old costume is still in my hands. I drop it with a disgusted yelp. This is so gross.

I go and grab rubber gloves and shove the costume in the burn pile out behind the guild. Hopefully setting it on fire doesn't make it smell worse.

It probably will, knowing Natsu. There is no telling what Natsu had this thing soaking in for years.

But no matter what, Cobra better not make him wear something stupid to the masquerade. We are trying to make him and Lucy start dating, not scare the poor girl away.

On the other hand, Cobra has a very dramatic sense of style.

And at this point, I have no choice but to trust him.

Much later, every decoration is up and hung and perfect. Enough food (fire and iron) to feed everyone to their content was lined on tables around the room that were, of course, Halloween themed.

I transformed into my costume and waited for people to arrive.

Cana was the first, slowly walking up to the bar. She looked great dressed as a pirate. I think that a lot of the mages will be dressed like that due to the pirate movie that just aired. She comes up and puts a small silver key on the bar and winks at me.

Now she has the key. Whatever plan she had to make them fall in love forcefully, did not work. I was about to tell her that till she helped herself to the pumpkin spiced cider and sauntered off, declaring that she loves Halloween.

Cobra comes in and walks to the bar with a smirk on his face. He is in a suit with a purple tie which makes him look sophisticated and refined. Then he has a mask on that is a long purple snake coiling around his eyes and dropping down to his mouth. He cleans up nice.

"Thanks, you don't look too shabby yourself," He motioned to me.

Where is Natsu? What did Cobra make him wear?

"Be quiet, I think that this time you will be happy with my interference," Cobra chuckles. "I hear a voice in the back."

That would be where Kinana is.

With that, he left me to man the bar and look out for Natsu.

"Mira, this looks so much better than before! I really thought that those spiders were weird, but they look really cool!" I hear the resident fire destruction mage proclaim on the other side of the bar.

I turn around and nearly laugh at what Cobra dressed Natsu in. It is nice, not embarrassing funny, like what I was partially expecting.

"That's a lot better of a costume than your old one," I comment smiling at him.

He is dressed in a black suit, but it has fur lining on the cuffs and collar. His scarf is tucked neatly in the jacket and is wearing an elegantly masculine wolf eye mask.

A great upgrade from his old werewolf costume.

"You think so? Cobra said that I could still stay a werewolf, which really surprised me," Natsu said sheepishly and put a hand behind his head.

"I think you look great, Natsu," I say and hand him a flaming glass of alcohol. His eyes brightened as he took it. He normally doesn't drink, but when you hand him something on fire, he will always get excited about it and will always take it. Always.

"Has Lucy got here yet? Cana said that she left the key to these with you," He holds up his arm that is still encased by the cuff. I pass him the key and he quickly gets the cuff off.

He looks away. I am expecting him to throw the cuff in a fit of anger or immediately burn through all of his clothing from lack of magic use, but he doesn't.

Instead, he gently puts the cuff down on the counter with the key by its side. That is not like Natsu at all.

He looks like he is entranced by something on the other side of the hall. I have never seen that expression on his face, even though it was half hidden, I could see the mesmerized gaze he is casting. There are too many people for me to see what he is looking at. I crane my neck to try to see what he is looking at.

Lucy had walked in, absolutely stunning. Now I see why Cobra wanted to keep Natsu as a werewolf.

She is wearing a long black dress, a gold scaled mask and a hooded red cape.

Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf.

Cobra, you brilliant son of a gun, you. I couldn't even have planned this better myself.

Lucy made her way to Natsu. Her mask only covered her eyes, so the blush on her cheeks is almost blinding.

It is amazing at how much more expressive these two are with masks.

Her mask looks like golden dragon scales to my eyes, I can't even imagine what it looks like to Natsu.

I really wish Cobra were here to know what they are thinking. There is only so much that I can deduce from their long, blushy stares.

Lucy cleared her throat, seeing the key and the unhooked cuff on the counter. She smiles widely and takes off her own cuff, putting it down next to its partner.

Natsu watches every movement. Surely he knows that their costumes match. It is obvious that Lucy made the connection.

Lucy grabs the flaming glass of alcohol and knocks it back, surprising both Natsu and myself.

Natsu laughs and grabs the next fireshot that I had automatically made through my shock of seeing Lucy steal Natsu's drink. He drinks it and then grabs his partners arm, "Want to dance?"

She laughs and nods, even though Natsu is already dragging her towards the dance floor.

Lucy is his fire tonight. And she is handing herself to Natsu. I should know what follows when that happens. Natsu always takes it. Always.

Watching those two through the night made me have a renewed resolve to get them together. They are best friends, but they are much more than that. I can see it and I will be damned if I don't get them to see it too.

"Well, would you look at that. Looks like both of them are having a great time," Cobra chuckles from my side.

When did he get here?

"Just came back," Kinana is behind him, wearing the mask that Cobra wore coming in and looking incredibly flustered. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know the reason why.

A slower song started and all of the couples on the dance floor, including Natsu and Lucy got closer together. It looks like Natsu is actually enjoying slow dancing with Lucy this time. I remember when he threw a fit when he needed to learn how to slow dance for a mission.

"You got that right," Cobra says, "This is the first night that he stopped thinking with his other head. I think that tonight was a lot more effective than you think."

Just then, Natsu spun Lucy back towards him and caught her, bending down.

My eyes widen.

His face is only a scant hairslength away from hers. Their lips are almost touching!

.

And Gray knocks into them while avoiding Juvia and makes Natsu and Lucy lose their balance.

All of my wrath will come upon Gray before the night is over.

Surprisingly, Natsu didn't chase after Gray or even glance twice in his rivals direction. He helped Lucy steady herself with a bright red cheeks.

They look like they are about to kiss again!

Lucy clears her throat and takes a step back. She blushes at the ground before muttering something to Natsu.

He grins and grabs her hand (this time, not her wrist) and slowly led her through the crowd. Cobra disappears from my side by the time the duo get here.

"Could we have another one of those fire drinks?" Natsu asks sitting only after Lucy sits. When did he become such a gentleman? It must be the mask. He will be back to normal the second that mask comes off. But I am not one to deny these two.

I give them the first of many more fireshots for the night.

If there was ever a soul in Fairy Tail that didn't believe that these two belong together, tonight was a perfect display of what they would become.

Those two are perfect for each other.

* * *

HA! No kiss yet!

Leave me a review please. I like to know what you like and what you don't!

My wedding is on Sunday! Wish me luck (as in I don't fall and embarrass myself and can have a legitimate wound for the remaining Halloween season)!

Also, I want to know if you (the readers of the internet) would be interested in a story about the Dragon Slayers biological parents. Tell me what you think so I know if I should just scrap the idea before it takes up too much of my time!

See you next time,

Amber


	7. Attempt Six

And now I am Mrs. Amber.

Review or message me if you want details!.

It seems that now that I have so much schoolwork to do, I can't stop myself from writing. I think I have skewed priorities. I may need help.

* * *

**Attempt Six:**

_This plan is genius! _I think as I make a note to see a friend of mine after my shift today.

Today is slow and probably going to be uneventful. Most everyone is hungover in the guild or sleeping in from last night's ball. Needless to say, I don't expect most of the mages to show up at all today. And I really don't expect any NatsuLucy progress to be made either.

Natsu never comes in the day after a party, especially when he drinks. I have noticed that Lucy does come in. I've asked her about that, and she always responds that it is the quietest place in the entire city when everyone is hungover.

I smile at Lucy as she enters. She waves and holds her thick book to her chest.

Gray stumbles and trips backwards, making his entire body collide with Lucy, pushing her into the bar. His butt lands on her back and he slides down her entire person before he ends up on the floor.

"Ow!" Lucy yelps quickly, pressing her lower back into the bar

"Jeeze, Lucy it wasn't that hard," Gray tries to roll his eyes, but ends up grasping his head with his hands. I can see that he is unaware of where he landed on her. I can see that his eyes are bloodshot.

Lucy crosses her arms and pouts. I can see tears welling up in her eyes, "don't let it happen again."

Gray shrugs and mutters a weak hungover apology before he meanders to a booth to sit down. He makes ice for his head and drones out into groans.

Lucy straightens her skirt and makes a bee line for the blue haired bookworm sitting down the bar a ways away from her normal spot. She wasn't hungover at all, but enjoyed the silence the guild offered the morning after a party.

Lucy sat down and tucked her head in close to Levys and started whispering back and forth.

I pay no mind to Lucy and Levy whispering back and forth. It is a common occurrence ever since they started reading this new book series together. They don't want many people to overhear their conversations. I listened in one time and it was all boring and they were referencing characters that I did not and do not have any interested in knowing about.

I prepare a drink for Bixlow and Freed. Apparently, Laxus needed to take care of some important business without his team today. Freed isn't taking being left out well and Bixlow always finds entertainment in seeing his distain.

I set down the glass and make a list of all of the other drinks that I need to make when I nearly jump out of my skin.

Levy, at the top of her lungs, yelled, no, _screeched_, "YOU DID WHAT?!"

I spin around to see that Lucy is as red as a tomato and trying to clamp a hand over Levy's equally red face. By now, all of the hungover mages in the guild are holding their heads and moaning or looking over with minimal interest or anger at the loud noise.

I could barely make out, "I didn't even realize it till this morning."

Where is Cobra when I need him to figure out what she is talking about?

Lucy, realizing that they weren't as quiet as they were before, looks up and around her while waving her hands to assure everyone that everything is in order and okay and to move on with their mornings. She sends Levy a harsh glance to stay quiet.

"How?" Levy squeaks out.

"The obvious way, don't you think?" Lucy states sarcastically. That isn't normal for the blonde.

Levy grins and bites her lip to hold back a squeal.

"You can't tell anyone," Lucy shakes her head violently.

Interest is at maximum peak. I need to know what they are talking about. It can't possibly be what I think it is, could it?

Last night, Lucy was stumbling out of the guild from drinking too much and Natsu walked her home without being asked. I guess that he is used to letting himself into her house so he was the fitting man for the job. They didn't even look like they were all that interested in each other _sexually_ last night. Just the loving stares at the beginning of the night and the rest of the night turned into a drinking contest between the two of them.

Lucy probably doesn't remember it, but she almost fainted when she saw the cost of each of the shots. I know how much her rent costs and she would have spent two months rent on the shots. Except Natsu, yes, _Natsu_, paid for both his and her shots. She doesn't know how much that boy really loves her.

Wait, she was drunk and he walked out of the guild basically fine. And I have an idea of what might make this blonde so flustered.

I swear, if that little destruction magnet took advantage of Lucy last night, he will have to face the wrath of a thousand angry demons.

But, just imagine their babies! They will be so cute! They would have auntie Mira to look after them on weekends. I will give them sugar all day so that they keep their parents awake all night.

Focus, Mira! They are getting quieter.

"Are you sure he doesn't know about it?" Levy asks, leaning her head even closer to her best friend.

Was he really more drunk than he looked? How could I let this happen to my poor Lucy?! Neither one of them remembering their first time?!

"I'm pretty sure. He passed out and he claims to know nothing about it," Lucy looks from side to side.

I am going to kill him when I get my hands on him. I don't care if he remembers or not!

A hundred ways to castrate and kill the fire user pops into my head in a parade of despair. I am too busy seething to notice that the two lean closer to each other and are not talking at all. All that is left is the two bookworms glowing red.

"Can I see it?" Levy asks timidly with a burning curiosity laced in her tone.

.

Wait, Levy, what? _what_?

"No, no, no, no, no, no," Lucy says quietly.

_What_ is going on here? Why would Levy want to see it? How would Levy be able to _see_ it?

Lucy continues her protest and increases her volume as Levy starts to beg with her eyes.

Lucy leans back, trying to block out the ultimate weapon of her fellow bookworm.

"Please, Lucy!" Levy grabs Lucys arm and makes her look in her eyes.

Lucy lets out a defeated sigh. Before she answers what I assume could be conceiting to the booksworms request I walk up and place two large milkshakes in front of them.

"Goodmorning, what are you two talking about?" I ask with a sweet smile.

Lucy looks horrified and Levy smirks with the rare mischievous glint.

"Lucy was just about to show me her-" Levy is cut off by Lucy jumping up and putting a hand over Levys mouth.

I need to reward Levy with some useful information or an old book. If she gets Lucy to tell me what they are talking about, I will probably get her both!

"Show you her what?" I ask innocently.

Lucy flushed a deep red. She knows that once I get the smell of blood, I won't stop chasing till I catch my prey.

"Would you prefer to come in the kitchen with me?" I suggest, seeing that Levy wanted me to know and how reluctant Lucy is still being.

Lucy sags her shoulders in defeat and stands up. She awkwardly hops over the barstool and walks back to the door with Levy. I wave at Bixlow so that he will protect the bar from Cana and Makarov.

I lead them towards a back corner, near the recently cleaned stack of dishes and the sink used to clean them.

"So what is it?" I ask, expecting an answer now that we were away from the hungover mages.

"I know that you know I was really drunk last night," Lucy starts, avoiding eye contact with me. She mutters something about fueling a fire before she continues, "Natsu walked me back to my apartment and we both passed out."

She looks to Levy to alleviate some of the embarrassment, "But we didn't stay asleep," she trailed off and absent mindedly flattened her skirt.

My eyes widen in surprise and in fury.

Demon's wrath will descend upon you, Dragneel! He has no right to take advantage of a drunken Lucy! No matter how much the two love each other, that is not acceptable for a first time!

"Ugh, I will just show you," Lucy says. The normally articulate woman is at a loss of words in her embarrassment. Her behavior is really confusing me. That is the only thing that is restraining me from finding Natsu and beating him within an inch of his life.

Lucy sighs heavily and faces away from us. Levy looks excited and it is rubbing off on me. I have no idea what has both of these girls all riled up. I only know that it has something to do with Natsu. If it what I think it is, I will hunt Natsu down. But there is a slight chance that it isn't.

She lifts up the hem of her skirt to show us something on her backside. It takes a moment for me to register what I see.

"Is that. . . ?" I blink and let my jaw go slack.

Levy squeals and stamps her feet in an excited dance, "It _is_!"

"I am trusting that _neither_ of you will tell _anyone_!" Lucy sternly drops the hem of her skirt and tenderly straightens it out.

"Well, you better start wearing pants. You know how rough the guild can be," I say. I really wouldn't want a lot of people knowing about that.

"That must have hurt," Levy says. She looks at the location of it, trying to see it thought the skirt.

"I didn't feel it at the time," Lucy said with another sigh and lifted her skirt up again to let Levy stare at it. "But it hurts a lot now."

"Do you know who did it, that looks amazing," I ask.

"I found the receipt from that place a few blocks away from Fairy Hills," Lucy pulls out a paper from her pocket.

"FreakShows Tattoo parlor?" I ask, grabbing the paper. "Oh, Rocky was your artist! I know him! He has gotten a lot better from when he did Laxus's tattoo."

"I just can't believe that you got a tattoo of a fire dragon on your ass," Levy smiles.

Lucy shakes her head, peaking over her skirt to look at it too.

"It is beautiful, are you going to keep it?" I ask. The tattoo is tiny, but the dragon is a beautiful mix of red and gold. The entire western-style dragon is perched on a key that looked eerily like one of Lucy's celestial keys. I could tell that Rocky put a lot of effort into it and it was highly custom.

Lucy blushed, "I actually really like it."

.

.

Lucy has gone home after revealing her tattoo to Levy and I. I don't expect to see any other action today, so I hunker down to start cleaning all of the decorations and the trash from the night before.

"Mira, have you seen a red envelope in the guild anywhere?" Natsu runs up to the bar with a frantic look on his face. "It is about this big." He draws a tiny letter sized envelope size in the air with his finger.

My eyebrows knit together in confusion, "No I haven't. Is it a letter?"

"Not exactly," Natsu frantically looks from side to side and ducks under the bar.

I am about to ask him further questions about the potential location as I lean over to see if he actually does find it on the ground at the bar.

"Oh here it is," he shoots back up, narrowly missing colliding with my head. He is holding a torn open envelope in victory. I do not fail to notice that he is holding that envelope with more reserve than any other piece of paper I have ever seen him hold.

He blinks and looks at it and notices the tear on the flap.

Natsu angrily sighed and pulled out the contents of the envelope to do something that I expected to be an inventory.

I can see the relief in his face when the contents were undamaged from a night in the guild. He lays out the content on the counter in order to try to fold the envelope into something that will hold it better.

I nearly drop what I'm cleaning.

"Natsu, where did you get that?" I ask, instantly recognizing the outline of the picture.

It is a tiny picture of a dragon sitting on top of a key that looks almost exactly like what I saw permanently etched into Lucy's backside.

Natsu looked over his shoulder, "What do you mean, where did I get it? I drew it."

.

.Goodness.

He was out of the guild before my lungs caught up with my excitement.

* * *

TELL ME what you think in a REVIEW!  
I always imagined that Natsu would have mad drawing skills. This is what happened.


End file.
